Joseph Badaracco, Jr. in Questions of Character: Illuminating the Heart of Leadership Through Literature, has a fascinating chapter on role modeling for emerging leaders. Badaracco believes that the mentor as role model has much more to do than merely providing an inspiring example.
"They also work in complex psychological and emotional ways -- to unsettle leaders, create permanent tensions in thier lives, impel them forward, and make them struggle." (pp. 55)
Unsettle leaders Create permanent tension in their lives Impel them forward Make them struggle
That is a pretty striking short list! As I have thought about this, I think it has a lot of merit. We must resist our natural impulse to provide answers that shortcut the learning process. We must resist offering help that short circuits the gaining of strength and capacity. We must resist fixing mentorees and sparing them pain when what they need is to learn courage and wisdom through that very process.
I think sometimes we have "overly fluffy," romanticized ideals of mentoring from which we work. We see ourselves as the wise, discerning, insightful, helpful ones who provide the word, answer, insight, gift that is received with clarity and gratitude and out of which comes wonderful growth.
NOT !!!
Badaracco believes the best mentors teach the best lessons that for the rest of one's life, provide a creative tension with which they wrestle.
One of the VERY BEST movies on this kind of mentoring is Finding Forrester. Get it and love it!
Mentors - it might be worth your while to do some assessment of how you are mentoring others. We may be negating the very growth patterns we want to see happen.
Brian Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
