No time . . .

I said it again!

I've been saying it a lot!

"No time."
"I don't have the time to . . ."
"I'll get to that when I can find the time."
"There's just not enough time."
 

I've grown deaf to the platitudes of well-meaners. You know which ones I mean don't you?

"God gives you all the time you need to do what He wants you to do."

Have you ever noticed how we give "slogan" answers to questions to which we really don't know the answer? 

Like, "God will never give you more than what you can handle!"
REALLY !?!!?!

I have a few thoughts on that one for another day as well.

Someone recently reminded me,"You have all the time you really need."

"No I don't" was my grouchy thought. "And I am wasting some of it right now in this conversation."  

I am painfully aware that the days, my days, are short, numbered, fleeting, once gone you don't get them back, and to top it all off - full of trouble, sorrow and evil to boot (see Ephesians 5:16 and Psalm 90:9-10).

That is why Paul counsels us to make the most of every opportunity and Moses prays for a heart of wisdom so he may "well order" those quickly passing days.

I don't have enough time. Here is why I say this:

I frequently say "no" to leaders who need my help . . . because I don't have time to help them.

I say no to many important ministry invitations to develop leaders . . . because I don't have the time to do them.  (Not only do I not have enough time, but I don't have enough partners trained in our methodologies... and, it is pressing matter to find enough time to train more partners).

I only have time for a certain number of deep friendship. And yet, I regularly meet "new friends" with whom I would love to do life more fully, but we can't . . . because we don't have enough time to be with one another.

There are people in my life who have expectations (usually legitimate) and I feel the pressure of . . . not enough time to meet their expectations.

There are so many good books I want to read. As I type these words I look over at the wall of my home office and see two shelves of very good books, sitting there, waiting, unopened. (Well, I have opened most of them and looked at the table of contents and skimmed through a few of them, but that 's it.) There they sit, because . . . I don't have enough time to read them.

My blogging is very intermittent these days. Why? Not enough time.

My list of unwatched movies is pathetically long. No time . . .

Music piles up in my New Music playlist in iTunes. Because I have no time to listen to all the music I want to listen to.  (And I like a lot of kinds of music.)

There are so many areas of interest in which I would love to study and learn and improve, but I don't, because . . . no time to do so.

There are skills I'd like to hone . . . but no time.

I have some hobbies I really enjoy, and rarely do. That's right . . . no time.

All the good things that I do for my devotional life, I want to do more of. More prayer, more reflection, more waiting, more listening, more writing . . . if only I had the time.

And there is a wide range of missional service for Christ that calls to me consider, but there is . . . no time.

********

You see, my problem, and yours as well is that we are created with great hungers, great longing, great desires and great emptiness when hunger, longing and desire are unsatisfied. 

It is an uncomfortable thing, having eternity in our hearts, as we make our way through this mortal vale. We are meant for so much more than we "have time" to experience and enjoy.

I want to live life large and I see a large life all around waiting to be lived. But it remains the elusive quarry, dancing away as I draw near and that Steve Miller song appears unbidden, that my time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.

The "out of context" words of No Time Left For You by the Guess Who remain with me as the years slip by. (By the way, the image of the guitar player and the clocks is Joe Satriani, another of my favorites that I am listening to right now!)

Reelin in the years and stowing away the time - if only I could do what Steely Dan asked (by the way, this is one of my all time favorite songs).

How about Bill Murray, reliving Ground Hog day over and over, but learning, growing, changing and remembering everything.

Did you like the magical device in The Prisoner of Azakaban  as much as I did. It was a Time Turner necklace worn by Hermione which allowed her to turn back time and use time over to do something else. In her case, take an extra load of courses to study. 

The world of the fantastic is not my mundane Muggle world.

So I have to learn how to live with "not enough time."

Since I do not have the gift to "make time," I must learn the art of finding the time, arranging the time, reordering the time, prioritizing the time.

And then, in this struggle (and it is a struggle):

I learn patience,

I make hard choices, seeking to make the most of the opportunities,

I trust God with all that is unfinished in me (and that is quite a bit, partially due to lack of time),

I feel the sadness of eternity in the heart of one who does not have enough temporal time,

I try to resist pity, disappointment and frustration,

I say no to strategies of withdraw and distraction (usually),

I pray for great grace to bear this tension with me for the time allotted me,

I pray also for that necessary heart of wisdom and perspective,

I practice gratitude for what I have been given and complain not about what I miss (okay, this blog is an exception to the complaining/whining rule),

I nurture the best rhythms and Regula I can in the time I have,

and I make my way through the Already and the Not Yet, oriented by hope and called to that magnetic Northstar of a world without End, where time will never be lacking.

Brian K. Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com