LeadershipConneXtions

Report on Asuncion Paraguay Trip and the Power of Mentoring

John is back from Asuncion, Paraguay. Asuncion is one of those places that it just takes awhile to get there. You can't fly directly into Asuncion from the USA, so you inevitably have a layover somewhere. John was in transit for about two days coming back to the States. He told me that one of the participants spent three days traveling from Bolivia, by bus, to get to the class. When we have participants like that, we want to give them the very best life transforming ideas and leadership shaping training we can. 

And that is what John did with the Mentoring Course. Here is one of John's reflections at the end of the course.  -bkr-
 

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“New Insights into the subject of Mentoring”

Being able to journey with another leader, especially cross-culturally is a marvelous experience.  I find myself pretty entrenched in our English Speaking North American context which is very individualistic and in many cases narcissistic and egocentric.  It is when I can visit another culture that these negative aspects of our culture become more obvious. 

In my recent trip to Asuncion, Paraguay I was privileged to work with ten top-level pastors and missionaries from South America.  The topic was mentoring which, in one sense is done quite frequently in the Latino culture but often more haphazard and without accountability.  Interestingly enough neither, ‘mentoring’ nor ‘accountability’, have equivalents in Spanish.  So we spend a good part of the class unpacking what those terms mean and how to apply them to the Latino culture.  Their engagement in the discussion was very enriching for all of us.  As they struggle with the day to day activities of ministry they were able to see how their lives parallel Moses example in Exodus 18:1-27. 

We focused on the purpose of mentoring and why it is so important as a multiplication factor for leaders and will help them to avoid burnout.  It is an activity that requires the four mindsets of a leader.  With all of the other demands of ministry the mentor must be strategic, intentional, self aware and surrendered.  Short of those disciplines the mentoring effort will just be another activity added to a long list of things to be done, like Jethro pointed out to Moses.

If it is done well the rewards are great encouragement in Joshua 24:31 “Israel served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had experienced everything the Lord had done for Israel”.  Moses mentored Joshua and Joshua mentored the elders leading to multiple generations of leaders who served Israel well.  I want to be part of that legacy and it appears that through mentoring it is possible. Thanks to all the participants in Asuncion for the blessing of sharing their lives with me.

John Hilliard  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

 

The Mentor as Role Model

Joseph Badaracco, Jr. in Questions of Character: Illuminating the Heart of Leadership Through Literature, has a fascinating chapter on role modeling for emerging leaders. Badaracco believes that the mentor as role model has much more to do than merely providing an inspiring example.

"They also work in complex psychological and emotional ways -- to unsettle leaders, create permanent tensions in thier lives, impel them forward, and make them struggle."  (pp. 55)

• Unsettle leaders

• Create permanent tension in their lives

• Impel them forward

• Make them struggle

That is a pretty striking short list!  As I have thought about this, I think it has a lot of merit. We must resist our natural impulse to provide answers that shortcut the learning process. We must resist offering help that short circuits the gaining of strength and capacity. We must resist fixing mentorees and sparing them pain when what they need is to learn courage and wisdom through that very process.

I think sometimes we have "overly fluffy," romanticized ideals of mentoring from which we work. We see ourselves as the wise, discerning, insightful, helpful ones who provide the word, answer, insight, gift that is received with clarity and gratitude and out of which comes wonderful growth.

NOT !!!

Badaracco believes the best mentors teach the best lessons that for the rest of one's life, provide a creative tension with which they wrestle.

One of the VERY BEST movies on this kind of mentoring is Finding Forrester. Get it and love it!

Mentors - it might be worth your while to do some assessment of how you are mentoring others. We may be negating the very growth patterns we want to see happen.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

A Living Message

I met the other day with my friend,  Randy Turner, who is doing some really good work (which I won't go into in this post). Randy shared a very interesting quote with me:

Our children are living messages we send to a time we will not see. 

(William Raspberry)

For more on William Raspberry read here.

This quote really hit me and I thought about it for a bit. I believe those of us who teach and train and coach and mentor can say something similar about the people with whom we work. They become living messages, imprinted with our own influence and they go to times and places and people we will never see.

It is a moving thought for me. I hope it is for you. May the living message we imprint today on others, be a worthy one. 

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Reverse Mentoring

For those of you who are interested in and involved in mentoring and learning from younger, emerging leaders, here is a new book:   Reverse Mentoring.  Even if this is not an area of focus for you, the short promotional video is worth watching.

Check out the video advertisement for Reverse Mentoring.

And, here is a short review of it from the publisher.

 

Earl Creps is known for his work in connecting the younger generation of postmoderns with their Boomer predecessors. The author of Off-Road Disciplines, Creps, in this new book, takes up the topic of how older church leaders can learn from younger leaders who are more conversant with culture, technology, and social context. In addition to making the benefits of what he calls "reverse mentoring" apparent, he also makes it accessible by offering practical steps to implement this discipline at both personal and organizational levels, particularly in communication, evangelism, and leadership.

Creps' new book is a topic of interest both inside and outside the church as older leaders realize that they're not "getting it" when it comes to technologies (iPod, IM, blogging) or cultural issues such as the fact that younger people see the world in an entirely different way. Creps has been personally involved in reverse mentoring for several years and has spoken and written on the subject extensively. He has pastored three churches (one Boomer, one Builder, on X'er) and is currently a church planter in Berkeley, California. He has also served as a consultant and and a seminary professor and administrator, holding a PhD in Communication Studies and a D.Min. from the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary.

I haven't read this book yet, but since I am teaching a seminary course the end of the month on Emerging Paradigms of Leadership, I am going to pick it up and run through it.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

 

The Mentor as Bridge Builder

Here is a thought from Buscaglia via Behar that really moved me.

Master bridge builders are ideal teachers and mentors who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students and mentorees to cross.

Our words, our actions, our love, our very "self" become the bridge for another to walk across from the place where they are to the place where they would like to be.

Jesus talks about laying down his life. No one forces him to do this, Jesus does it on his own accord. While Jesus was talking about laying his life down as a sacrifice on the cross, I think the principle is this:

Mentors are always laying down their lives for the sake of others. In some cases, we lay down our life as a bridge for someone to use to move into the future.

May you have great joy and fruit as a Master Bridge Builder. And may you encourage those who cross your bridge to become bridge builders as well.

Brian Rice

The "Fire in the Heart"

Years ago when I was working on my D.Min. degree, I did a self-designed project centered around the Focused Life model of Bobby Clinton. It was an enormously fruitful project that, in part, helped me clarify that my life purpose is to develop leaders and to resource under-resourced leaders so they may finish well.

My D.Min. mentor - Dr. Greg Bourgond of Bethel Seminary helped me to discover not only my purpose, but the passion underlying it all. If I could sum it up in one sentence, my motivational passion in life is to develop people and help them become all they are created by God to become.

I was reminded of this when I read these words by Howard Behar of Starbucks, in his nice little book, It's Not About the Coffee (which is well worth your reading) as he described his deepest motivation.

"For me, pushing or prodding or helping others see their potential is my single desire in life, and it is the force that gives my life purpose."

Even reading those words stirred my desire to continue doing the very same thing in the sphere of influence that Christ graciously allows me to have.

For all of you who are involved in mentoring others - I bet your deep motivational passion is something similar. May you feel His pleasure as you do what He has created you to do.

Brian Rice

Selling Sugar Water or Changing the World

Here is an "in your face" question.

"Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life, or do you want to change the world?"

Leander Kahney says, "It's perhaps the most famous challenge in the modern business history. It's an insult, a compliment and a soul searching philosophical challenge rolled into one question."

And it the question the young Steve Jobs asked of John Sculley. At the time Sculley was the enormously successful president of Pepsi Co who recreated that company and transformed it into a dominant rival to Coke. In 1983, with Apple just six years old and rapidly growing, CEO Jobs wanted Sculley to come and be the new CEO of Apple.

In the end Sculley said, "If I didn't accept, I'd have spent the rest of my life wondering if I had made the wrong decision."

There are a lot of people who are devoting their lives to making sugar water.

As leaders and mentors, we throw down the gauntlet and invite others to a greater engagement in the world. Sometimes, but not necessarily, leaving their vocation.  But certainly changing the focus in their vocation.

God invites us to be world changers.

What have you done toward that end?  And . . .

Who have you challenged this week to that greater engagement?

Brian Rice

A Legacy of Heirs: of Festschrift and Opus

Mentoring is all about reproducing "oneself" (although I'll come back to this idea in a minute to modify it in a key way) in mentorees.

Therefore, mentoring is all about people who become "heir" to who you are, what you know, and what you do. They are the recipients of the "wealth" of your knowledge and experience.

For mentors, their legacy is a legacy of people they have trained.

Len Sweet reminded me of the concept of "festschrift."  A festschrift is a special kind of book that is a collection of essays written by a variety of people - in honor of that person. In most cases, the authors who are included in the festschrift were former students of the one being written about and the essays being written are contributions to the field of study of which the mentor was a master. So the festschrift honors the master by the student paying tribute to master through excellence of academic thought in the essay. In my years of seminary study, I read many festschrifts and always enjoyed reading what the students had to say, not only about the field of expertise of the "master" but the personal thoughts about the one being honored.

In one way, the people in whom you invest become a living Festschrift of your life.

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Remember the old movie - Mr Holland's Opus, where the students of Mr Holland (over the many years) gathered togethered for a performance of Mr Holland's "opus?"  An opus is a creative piece of work, especially in music.  For years Mr. Holland had wanted to write and conduct his opus, but his investment in the lives of so many students kept working against that. It is time for his retirement and in one sense he believes he has failed. He has not produced a major work that was recognized by the music world. There is no musical opus.

Unknown to Mr. Holland, many of his students through the years have come together to perform that musical work he had  "mostly" written, but which was never produced. And one of his students says to him right before the performance,

"Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you. We are your symphony, Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life."

I probably cry every time I hear that line. Mentoring is about the people who become the Opus of your life.

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Here is one final thought (and looping back to the first statement on this post).

For Christians, what we really want to see reproduced in the life of the student and mentoree, is the life of Christ. So in a messy and mysterious way, through the imprint of our own life and beliefs and values, we seek not to turn a person into a replica of our "self" but through our "self" to help them become the best and truest form of their own "self" which is being renewed into Christlikeness.

The world doesn't need more Brian Rices, but it does need more Christ-like followers and if Brian Rice can be an avenue and channel toward that end, that is a opus worth hearing and a festschrift worth reading.

Brian Rice

Osmosis Mentoring

Osmosis:  The gradual, often unconscious, absorption of knowledge or ideas through continual exposure rather than deliberate education.

Okay, that's not the scientific definition of the word, but if I gave you that definition you would have exited this window after two lines of jargon.  But the definition is a legitimate one.

Maybe the last time you heard the word osmosis was the cartoon movie that Bill Murray played in - Osmosis Jones.

And it is how some of the best mentoring takes place.

Really good mentoring (like the kind Jesus did) takes place as mentor and mentoree do life together. Our more common practices today are mentor and mentoree getting together occasionally and with intentionality and strategy, focusing on an area of need. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is how I do most of my mentoring, but it is not the same as Osmosis Mentoring.

I love Paul's words to Timothy in 2 Timothy 3:10-22.

You know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings - what kinds of things happened to me . . . the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them.

Yes, Timothy did know because Timothy and Paul did life together.

Here is another word. APPRENTICE.

I bet two ideas come to mind. Micky Mouse as the magician's apprentice and Donald Trump's reality TV show.

In the ancient and medieval worlds, apprenticing was the main way young people learned a trade. A master would take a novice as an apprentice and the apprentice would learn a trade or skill by doing life together with the master.

In the Judaic world of Jesus times, rabbinic students would be chosen by a Rabbi, to come and be with the Rabbi and to learn from him. In essence, they became apprentices.

In Apprentice Mentoring, in Osmosis Mentoring, much of the teaching and training is in the form of what is CAUGHT and not just TAUGHT. Things are taught in a classroom, in a workshop, in a seminar. things are caught as we do life together.

I think those of us who are interested in mentoring in the worlds of modernity and post-modernity have to figure out how to do life together in a more consistent way. We really failed to do that in modernity. it is a theme in postmodernity. But it will take some reconfigurations of life and ministry.

There are probably quite a few Christian leaders in the marketplace where you are with others in a pretty continual way. That may be the context for some Osmosis/Apprenticing mentoring to take place.

Brian Rice

Truth as a Friend

Truth comes as conqueror only to those who have lost the art of receiving it as friend.  Rabindranath Tagore (quoted by Sweet, page 31 of Eleven)

Boy did this one stop me for a few minutes of reflection.

There is truth we need to hear, but truth we don't want to hear. But hear it we shall... whether it comes to us as a gentle friend with caution and guidance...

... Or as a conqueror who forces us to face the realities that we have pretended were otherwise.

How about the famous line from Jack Nicholson playing Col. Jessup in A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!"? This is truth that is coming in conflict, antagonism, challenge, and confrontation.

We need mentors who speak truth to us.

Here is a little exercise for you to try sometime. Think of two or three (or more if you want) people (a mentor, a spouse, a friend, a colleague) who know you well. Talk to them individually and give them this invitation.

What wisdom and truth would you like to speak into my  life about who I am, what I am doing, how I am doing, what concerns you have and what your "best counsel" for me is?  (Or think of your own way to say it, you get the idea.)

BUT...also tell them they have your undivided attention. You will not argue with them about what they say, you will not get defensive, you will not explain or justify yourself...all you will do is listen and ask clarifying questions so you can understand what they are saying.

I think this would be profitable for most of us, hearing truth from friends ... yet I think most of us would find this pretty threatening.

Do we really want to hear truth? Are we willing to engage with truth as a friend?

"Rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still." Proverbs 9:8-9

Brian Rice

Who is Your Editor?

I just finisehd Len Sweet's book,  11 Indispensable Relationships You Can't do Without. It is a book on a variety of mentoring relationships. I took it along with me when I went to Paraguay to teach a workshop on mentoring and thought I'd read it to get some fresh ideas. I didn't have time to read it on the way down, but I started reading it on the way back (from Dallas to Baltimore).

I jotted down about a dozen ideas that I want to blog on in the next week or so that all relate to mentoring. I owe the impetus for all of them to Sweet's book...so check it out if you are interested in any of the ideas in the upcoming days.

By the way CLICK HERE for Sweet's website. 

(And see his picture below.)

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Story and narrative are now a main concept we have to understand life, the  Christian faith and our journey through life and faith.

Many years ago, I read a book by David Fisher called, The 21st Century Pastor. One of the chapters in his book talked about the metaphor of "penmanship." We are God's "penmanship" or "living letters" which God is writing.  It is based on 2 Corinthians 3:1-3 and this is a text well worth your reflection time. (By the way, the book was actually quite good. Fisher played around with a number of metaphors used by the Apostle Paul to describe leadership.)

That idea came back to me when I read Len Sweet's idea about everyone needing an EDITOR. We need mentors who will serve as editors of our story.

As I thought about it, an editor does several things.

(1) An editor is deeply committed to a writer and to helping the writer succeed.

(2) Editors help writers improve their story.

(3) Editors serve the writer because the editor does not win accolades from an audience for a story. The author gets the credit. However, good authors acknoweldge their indebtedness to the editor.

(4) An editor gives feedback from the outside perspective. Writers tend to get stuck on their story and on the best way to write it. Plus writers find it very hard to be objective about their story and how well written it is. The editor comes in with that objectivity.

(5) Editors help us see our story with another pair of eyes and find better words and usage of words.

In one sense, God is the GREAT EDITOR, but we also need mentors who will serve in the editing role for us. So, who are you telling your story to in deep and authentic ways, mainly for the purpose of feedback? Who are you asking to comment on your story and how well it is being written and told?

Brian Rice

Experience: The Best Teacher?

How many times have you heard it said that "experience is the best teacher"?

I don't think this is true. It is a naive view about learning, growth and transformation and how all that takes place. It assumes that to simply have an experience is to grow! And that is no more true than the old adage, "Time heals all wounds." Both the statement on experience and time reduce the human person to a passive subject and assume that the power resides in either experience or in time.

How many times have you met someone with about 10 (or 20) years of experience but about 2 years of growth or wisdom?

(What I say next is directly tied to yesterday's post).

Experience by itself does not teach us anything. Experience is simply the situation or the occasion that may (or may not) become the LAUNCHING PAD for growth.

Experience needs a response, a reaction, an engagement of the person with the experience. Experience needs an active response, not a passive one.

The active response is one of reflection upon the experience. You ponder, consider, reflect, meditate, assess, analyze, probe the experience itself. You seek to find meaning in the experience. You look for purpose that is latent within the experience. You search for the presence, the work and the Word of God that is contained within an experience.

And you do the same for your reaction to the experience. You ponder (etc.) what is going on inside you in the same way that you consider the external situation.

Then, when there is personal discovery about the MEANING of the experience and the MEANING of your reaction, learning is taking place.

But for growth to occur, one more step is needed. You must now do something with the meaning that you have discovered. That meaning must be acted upon. That meaning must be integrated into your life. Implementation of insight must be the follow-through outcome. When that happens, growth begins to take place.

I think the work of mentors is deeply centered on helping the mentorees discover the meaning within the experience and their reaction to the experience. That means the mentor must first guide the mentoree in gaining reflective, meditative and assessment skills.  Then the mentor must help the mentoree find the "take away" value of the experience. Finally, the mentor helps the mentoree integrate the meaning/value into their life.

I think this is the pathway to growth.

Brian Rice

Bear Bryant on Coaching

Here was a nice reminder on what good coaches do. It was in Maxwell's leadership devotional, March 9th.

According to Bear Bryant, outstanding Alabama football coach, good coaches:

1. Tell players what you expect of them.
2. Give players an opportunity to perform.
3. Let players know how they're doing
4. Instruct and empower players when they need it.
5. Reward players according to their contribution.

If you are having some trouble with people on your team, revisit this and see if you are missing any of these aspects of coaching.

Brian Rice

The Book of Esther (A Study on Mentoring)

Yesterday morning, the men's group I facilitate did a study of the mentoring forms that are seen in the Book of Esther.

I am providing this as a PDF file if you want to do some personal study.

Download EstherOnMentoring.pdf

Also, I just came across this review of a movie about Esther, One Night With the King. I have no idea how good the movie is, but I put it down as a reference.

Brian Rice

The Disciplined Pursuit of Excellence

I spoke this past Sunday and the theme was the disciplined pursuit of excellence. This has become a topic that is of great interest to me personally and then professionally as well, as we/LCI seek to empower leaders to become the very best they can be.

I had a number of really inspirational video clips as well as an interview/dialogue with a friend, Chris Whitaker (pictured), who is a very talented composer/pianist who is currently studying at Peabody Conservatory. At age 21, he is already well on his way to excellence.

Here are the four main ideas in the pursuit of excellence:

(1) You need the mindsets that are conducive to excellence. Things like dedication, enthusiasm, love of the thing you are engaged with, commitment and so on.

(2) You need a progressive approach to learning and development that continually helps you reinforce what you already know as well as introduces you to new things that are a little beyond your current capability.

(3) You need lots of time. Some studies say it takes about 10,000 hours of time to achieve excellence in an area.

(4) You need the right coaches who can guide your progressive development.

If you get these four things in place, you have what is needed to pursue excellence. If you want to watch a movie that illustrates the pursuit of excellence, watch Akeelah and the Bee. It is about a young girl who wants to win the national "Spelling Bee" contest.

Brian Rice

Mentoring Humor

Wanting to get your weekend off to a good start, I thought I'd share this pretty funny poster.

When you get results like this, you know you are a good mentor.

Brian Rice

Groundlevel mentoring

I am starting a new mentoring relationship with a woman who just became the executive director of Street's Hope, a small start-up ministry in downtown Denver. They don't have a website, don't do publicity, and pretty much stay below the radar screen.

The reason is because they minister to women in the sex industry, helping to get them off the streets. Many of the people who make money from these women (i.e. pimps) don't like Street's Hope at all. They would prefer it did not exist.

Karen (the exec director) asked if I would mentor her in leadership. She is from our church and just took the role a month or two ago. I'm excited to be even a small part of what God is doing among the "least and the last" on the streets of Denver.

- Brian Newman

Note #16: Own Up to Your Mistakes

This Mentoring Note helps mentors own up to the mistakes they make in the mentoring process and relationship. Mistakes are inevitable and this note shows how you can use your own process of owning up to them to model the way for those you are mentoring.

Download 016_ownuptomistakes.pdf

Brian Rice

Note #15: The Elephant, the Emperor and the Thing

This Mentoring Note takes a look at how mentors can help others deal with the difficult issues of life and leadership. The title is a reference to the elephant in the living room, the naked emperor and the thing in the bushes.

Download 015_elephantemperorthing.pdf

Brian Rice

Note #14: Stages of Mentoring: Part Four

This is the final part of a four-part series on the Stages of Mentoring. It looks at the Ending Phase which is how you bring closure to a mentoring relationship.

Download 014_stagesofmentoringpartfour.pdf

Brian Rice

Note #13: Stages of Mentoring: Part Three

This Mentoring Note focuses on the third phase of mentoring, what is called the Empowering Phase. This is the heart of mentoring. The Empowering Phase covers a lot of territory. What I do in this note is to walk you through the "bigger picture" of empowering and suggest a model that you can use to empower leaders.

Download 013_stagesofmentoringpartthree.pdf

Brian Rice

Note #12: Stages of Mentoring: Part Two

This Mentoring Note looks at the second stage of mentoring, the embarking phase. Embarking is how you invite a person into a mentoring relationship. There are a number of practical suggestions that will help you assess a potential mentoree in terms of that person's readiness to be mentored.

Download 012_stagesofmentoringparttwo.pdf

Brian Rice

Mentoring Leaders

Last week was a really good week.

It wasn't just a good week because of the religious significance of the week (Good Friday and Easter).

It wasn't just a good week because I had some really good devotional times.

It wasn't just a good week because Becky and I had some really good conversations.

It was a really good week because I had eleven mentoring sessions with leaders. I usually have about six sessions a week, but last week it almost doubled.

I was reflecting about how energizing it is for me when I mentor leaders. I mean - in just about every case, we had great conversations. They were iron-sharpening-iron conversations. I came away from each session having learned something and having been in a "growth encounter."

In one of those sessions, the guy talked about two people who had a major influence on him. One was a teacher/coach and the other was a business leader who took him under his wing as a kind of protege. Both people were highly significant in his life.

He recounted a recent conversation with the business leader (now many years later) and that individual said, "Every day I try to learn something new." My friend has that same attitude.

For all of your leaders and leadership development minded people who read these blogs - it is a great privilege we have to mentor others.  Eric Liddell felt the pleasure of God as he ran and ran hard.

Borrowing his words,

"May you feel the pleasure of God upon you as you mentor leaders."

Brian Rice

Note 11: Stages of Mentoring: Part One

This Mentoring Note begins a four-part series on the Stages of Mentoring. Part One focuses on what is called the Examination Phase where a mentor does some self-assessment work to determine their own motivations for mentoring and what their contributions will be.

Download 011_stagesofmentoringpartone.pdf

For previous issues of Mentoring Notes, click on the tab at the bottom of this post that says Mentoring Notes.

Brian Rice

More Mentoring Notes In the Weeks Ahead

It has been some time since I provided Mentoring Notes.  I am picking back up with them and starting next week there will be a new series of Notes that will come out once a week over the next two months or so. They will usually be posted on Fridays.

If you are new to this TypePad for LCI, and want to access previous Mentoring Notes, all you need to do is click on the phrase Mentoring Notes that is at the bottom of this post. You will then go to a screen where all of the previous Notes are listed. Scroll down and you can click on any of them for a PDF file.

Brian Rice