I've got some thoughts rumbling around for this post and I'm not sure I have them really organized, in my mind or on the paper where I scribbled them down. So this post may "ramble" a bit.
I read a line in Wendell Berry and the Cultivation of Life by Bonzo and Stevens that set me to thinking.
Under the illusion of getting somehwere, we are consumed by the effort to figure out why we aren't there yet.
So, here come the random, meandering thoughts that arose out of my reflection on those words. I'll talk about it in personal terms rather than projecting it out to you.
I define myself by what I lack, what I don't have and what I think I am missing. (By the way, this picture is not me lounging in a hammock, by the ocean, under palm trees, reading a good book, drinking a cool beverage of my choice . . . this is some of what I am lacking in the middle of December.)
In doing this, I feel diminished. I feel less than I should be. I know life is not the way it is supposed to be and I am not the way I am supposed to be (Plantinga).
I experience life then in terms of loss, estrangement, faiure, disappointment. The cup is half empty and not half full.
This becomes even worse, for according to Mark Sayers, my cultural setting is one of Hyper-Reality where so much is promised, so much is dangled before my yes, that expectation is heightened to inordinate levels. In leadership terms, the world constantly over-promises and always under-delivers. So my sense of lacking is even greater.
One more thought on that one. Reality is so hyped up that reality is no longer reality but hyper-reality. It is an impossible reality. An "ideal" reality, although the ideal is that of materialistic, hedonistic, consumerist pop-culture. It is ubiquitous. It is there at every turn, in every commercial, on every billboard, in every magazine, in every TV show...
Because I live in a world of comparisons, I tend to compare myself to those who have what I lack and that makes my lacking even more difficult.
I live in a world that intentionally heightens and emphasizes what I lack. It does this to spur me on to purchase what I lack. Whether it is a possesion I lack or an experience I lack, the cultural marketing machine encourages me to buy it so I can experience satisfaction and fulfillment.
I have the illusion I am getting somewhere. It is an impression, and a misguided one at that. It is misguiding, illusionary impression because I live in a time that is seriously confused about both destinations and the journey.
A well worn mantra of our time is that the destination does not matter, only the journey counts. That is patently false. Destinations are the purpose of the journey. And then the journey prepares you for the destination. In fact, I'd say we are confused about both destinations and journeys, and therefore, struggle with both hope (about the destination) and love (what we do on the journey).
If we don't know where we are headed, then we cannot possibily know how to get there. So we unconsciously "buy into" an alternative destination suggested by our culture. And that destination is the illusive "fulfilled self in terms of possessions and experiences."
And we/I (sorry, I started projecting a paragraph or so back) have the sense that it is not what it should be, I have not received what I think I should have, I am not where I should be. And my sense of life is basically - it is lacking something.
As a friend of mine use to say, "I'm so confused." He said that about himself, but I am saying it about myself and, what the heck, I'll project, "We are all so confused."
If this is the experience of so many, then LEADERSHIP involves discerning our times (and I would call them our diseased and dis-eased times), having clarity about our destination, learning how to be a guide for others who have lost their way, helping them recalibrate their expectations for the journey.
It's a little hard for leaders to help others do that if they (the leaders) have not generally figured it out for themselves.
Ok, that was a ramble . . . Did it make any sense?
Brian Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International