LeadershipConneXtions

What Do You Have Going for You?

It was a verrrrry long time ago, in a place far, far away when I first heard the story of Colonel Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (now KFC). 

Sanders was a retired postal worker, recently retired and already bored, wondering if there was more for the rest of his life than sitting on his front porch on the rocking chair. He decided to make a list of all that he had going for him. On that list was the fact that he was the only one who knew his mother's secret recipe for fried chicken. He decided to make some and see if people would be interested in buying it . . . and the rest is history.

I was fascinated at the time, and still am, by the fact that he sat down and did a personal inventory of his strengths, capacities, competencies, what he had going for him. Out of that, came inspired action.

Here is one of those exercises that beg for us to do some reflection and then implementation. Get out some paper, or your journal if you use one, and start making a comprehensive list of your assets. You may work on this for several days, or longer, if you like. Get input from those who know you. You should have a pretty substantial list.

This is the workmanship of your life, which God is building and will continue to build. And you are invited to cooperate with God in the working out what he has built into you.

Here are several pretty important questions. 

When you look at the total package of your assets - how much are you living and leading out of those assets? 

Do you have significant strengths that you are not using? 

What new avenues may give you the opportunity to begin using more of what you have to offer on behalf of others?

Here is an idea from a post a week or so ago. If you don't attend to this, there is NO ONE ELSE who is going to do it for you. This is surely what Paul had in mind when he wrote to  Timothy and told him "do not neglect the gift that is in you" (1 Timothy 4:14).

Have fun doing this. Be excited, be grateful, be expectant. And then find ways to use what you have to add value to those around you in the name of Jesus.

Brian Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

The Difference Makers: Incubate and Implement

Let me use HYPERBOLE to drive home my point.

There is nothing more important for you to do then incubate and implement. 

Here is what you do not lack. You do not lack good ideas. Good ideas are everywhere. Great information is all around you in endless supply. These days, it is only about three clicks away on your computer. 

Ideas do not change the world.
Ideas do not change you.
Ideas do not change your situation.

But . . . 

Ideas you understand and implement, well that is another matter altogether.

It was about 15 years ago, when I was trying to understand how transformation takes place, and why it seems so little transformation is taking place in the church (which is above all, about transformation), I discovered a few things.

(1)  Information by itself is not enough. The church (like many other organizations in our world) specializes in information distribution. We have tons of information. In the church we call it Bible teaching.

(2)  Information by itself does not lead to transformation. If it did, after every Sunday morning message, the following week would be full of transformation. And we all know that doesn't happen. In fact, not only is transformation not occurring, but the studies tell us that people don't even remember 95% what was talked about 24 hours later!

(3)  A middle step was missing. A core ingredient was missing. The process was lacking something. And then, I don't remember the circumstances, the word INCUBATION came to my mind... and suddenly, I knew I had found the word that described the missing piece in the process. Here is what I wrote down.

Information   ----   Incubation ----  Transformation

As time went on, I fleshed out this idea in much more detail. You can find a one page summary overveiw in chart form by downloading this PDF.

(4)  Ideas need to be incubated. An idea is the seed, but the seed is just a seed. There is the potential of great fruit in that seed, but the seed must be placed into a place, an environment, a process of germination or incubation. 

(5)  Incubation/germination simply means you have to spend time thinking about an idea. Seeing it, understanding it, "getting it," knowing it. You have to ponder, consider and reflect on that idea. Not just the idea in theory, but the idea as applied to your life. 

• What is the idea all about?
• What difference will this idea make in my life?
• How will I use this idea in my life?

(6)  As the incubation process goes on, you begin to work it out in life. Reflection leads to action which leads to more reflection which leads to adjustments and so on. This is the implementation step. All true incubation is loaded with activity. Reflecting and learning are not simply cerebral activities. They are holistic - involving mind, emotions, will, action. And this very process is the way to transformation.

(7)  Here is the bad news. 1000 really great ideas will mean nothing for your life if those ideas are not incubated and implemented. Most of us are going through our lives being exposed to great ideas after another. And we remain unchanged.

(8)  Here is the really good news. If you find five or a dozen of the most intriguing, really great ideas... and if you devote lots of time to reflecting and acting on your reflection, those ideas will become truly transformative. Most great lives are simply the end product of the person finding those few truly great ideas that resonate, and then spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE incubating, implementing, going deeper and going further.  I have about a dozen really great ideas that I just never stop working with and working out into my life.   

And a side note... this is how knowledge becomes wisdom. 

(9)  QUESTION:  Do you know your really great ideas? Have you identified them? Do you know what is calling to you and inviting you to spend a lifetime processing and implementing?  

(10)  EXERCISE: Write them down. In a phrase or a sentence. No need to long explanations. Just make a list of the really great ideas that are changing your life because you are incubating and implementing them.

(11)  You don't know them? Well then, it is time to start finding some. 

(12)  You know them but you aren't doing much with them!  Well then, it is time to start working the process.
 

 

In the next few days, I am going to give you some ideas on this.

Tomorrow's Post:

So, What All Do You Have Going For You?  
Time for a Personal Inventory

Brian K. Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

Try Something New

Do you want to jump start your stalled engines of learning? If so - try something new. For example . . .

1.  Rearrange your office or your living room.

2.  Go to a new restaurant and order something really different.

3.  Pick up a magazine or journal at a newstand (Borders or Barnes and Nobles have large selections) that is really different from your normal interests and read it cover to cover.

4.  Read a book that is an entirely different genre than you usually read. Or if you don't read books, go get one and read it.

5.  Listen to music that is written outside your listening interest.

6.  Go to an event (a trade show, a community event, a seminar, a sports program...) that is not your usual fare.

7.  Hang out with some people who are really different than you and who think very differently.

The common thread is to break out of the routines we are trapped in, be exposed to different sources of stimulation and work hard to notice, pay attention and to understand.

If you do this on a weekly basis (a daily basis would be even better) you will see yoru persona growth and energy accelerate.

Have fun.
And tell me what you did that was different.

Brian K. Rice 
Leadership ConneXtions International 
www.lci.typepad.com

On Being Stuck

Is anyone feeling "stuck" these days?

• Stuck in a rut.
• Stuck in a hard place.
• Stuck in a holding pattern.
• Stuck in a dead end job.
• Stuck in a box, confined, limited.
• Stuck at a glass ceiling and unable to move up.
• Stuck in a bad relationship.
• Stuck with a debt you can't get out from under.
• Stuck with a bad deal you never should have made.
• Stuck in an old paradigm.

Stuck . . .
It is a very bad place to be.
(The poor fox has its head stuck in a tire...)

Stuck is demotivating. Stuck is depleting and draining. Stuck is discouraging and depressing. Stuck is monotonous and boring. 

Stuck is a very bad place to be.

For when we feel stuck, we become desperate.

When we feel stuck, we are prone to bad decisions. We act rashly and impulsively. We are more likely to do foolish things when we feel stuck.  You know that "mid-life" crisis thing you hear about? And how people (especially, but not only men) make really stupid decisions in a mid-life crisis time. Well, the mid-life crisis is, in part, about feeling stuck... trapped... same ole, same ole...

Stuck is not where you want to be.

We are stuck for many reasons. Some of them are external conditions and limitations. Some of the reasons are internal constraints we have that keep us where we are.

 

 

If you are stuck, you are most likely the only person who will take responsibility for getting you unstuck. It is unlikely that anyone, other than Christ, is going to to initiate you into a "getting unstuck" process. So, here are a few suggestions for getting unstuck. Get your pen and a piece of paper or journal and start working through them.  Do all of what follows in a spirit of prayer.

ONE:  Where are you stuck and how long have you been stuck. Describe exactly and fully your experience of being stuck.

TWO:  Why are you stuck? How did this happen? What are the external forces contributing to your being stuck (bad economy, bad boss, etc.) and what are the personal forces (fear, discouragement, not trained in a field, a particular character flaw, etc.). It is important that you have clarity about these external and internal forces in light of the next point.

THREE:  What can you do to get "unstuck?"  Part of this will be coming up with solutions to the causing factors you have just identified. At least on paper, you are going to trouble shoot, problem solve and do some creative envisioning.

FOUR:  After you have some decent ideas down on paper, process all this with a friend for their assessment and input.

FIVE:  Come up with an Action Plan that has the steps you are going to take to deal with constraints and to move forward.

SIX:  Implement this plan relentlessly.

And may Christ be powerfully at work in this "un-stucking process."

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

Initiate or Respond (and the Distortion Bias)

You would think that leaders spend most of their time initiating new ideas, plans and strategies, implementing the next phase or program or event that will lead to great results.

You would think that and you would be wrong.

And if you, the leader, think you spend most of your time initiating, you are wrong also.  This is a case where reality is far different than our perception of it.

We have a distortion factor (my language, I haven't found it said this way) that kicks in on this and which leads to flawed self-assessment. 

It is kind of like when people are surveyed as to how much TV they watch on a daily basis. Almost everyone "under-estimates" how much daily TV they view by one to two hours.
 

It is the same thing in action as when leaders are asked how much time they spend working. Almost everyone "over-estimates" how many hours they work per week, by 5-10 hours!
 

It is the same thing at work when "preachers" are asked to evaluate themselves as a preacher. Almost every preachers scores themselves as "above average" when it comes to preaching. You ask their congregation and their congregation gives them an "average" at best and often, a below average score.
 

There is a distortion bias that minimizes our weaknesses and (well let me say) quite generous, when it comes to assessing our strengths.

The same thing comes into play when leaders assess how much time they spend initiating and how much time reacting/responding.  The fact is, the vast majority of time for the vast majority of leaders is spent reacting to needs, problems, crises, urgencies, etc.

So, just take it as so that you spend much of your week in a response/react mode. One of the best things you will do for your family, your team, your organization, your personal ministry is to be highly intentional about initiating.

In the words of the Men's Fraternity core ideas:  reject passivity and in this case, the passivity of responding and not leading.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

Drift and Creep

Here is another short (and hopefully sweet, or at least useful) thought for you.

Mission Drift - it happens.

Vision Creep - it happens too.

Diffusion of focus and concentration - yep, a pretty frequent phenomenon.

It will happen to you. 

When you stop being vigilant about your purpose and goals, you start to drift.

When you drop down a notch or two about intentionality, you start to creep over into things that are not the best, they are only good, and maybe only okay.
 

Why don't you do a little self-assessment right now.

  

How focused are you?

Do you have laser like clarity about your purpose and passion?

Are you on course and making good progress?

Are you chasing too many rabbit trails, too many leads, too many options.?

What is your ONE THING that it is time to get back to?

What is your 20% in the Pareto Principle that you must do?

Is a re-calibration long overdue?

Is it time to discover your True North once more?

Brian Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

It Starts With Self-Leadership

The Leading Edge ministry at Living Word Community Church has three modules we teach during the course. The first module is titled (either blandly or appropriately) Self-Leadership.

For the first task of leadership is to lead one's self.

Now, I am not promoting a self-sufficient, independent, autonomous approach to life and personal development. But I am encouraging diligence and attentiveness to your own life and leadership way.

For you are imprinting others. Ron Martoia calls it the "leadership leak." Your life, your ways, your habits, your style, everything in you comes spilling out and flowing on to others.

YOU are either your biggest asset or your worst liability. 

If you get your own world in order, if you get your own mess straightened out (at least reasonably so), and if you are changed on the inside in to someone worthy of leading --- then you will have the opportunity to truly and profoundly influence others and walk with them to a preferred future.

If you don't do that (the work of self-leadership) everything else is a challenge, and likely a fruitless one at that.

Of course self-leadership begins with self-awareness. If you don't know who you are and what is inside, you'll have no chance of leading yourself.

So, launch some conversations with people you trust, people who know you well, people who are committed to your success. Find out how you are doing and start to ramp up your self-leadership this fall.

I am paying attention to several areas where my self-leadership was lacking... and that focus is already making a difference.

If you need a little help along the way, check out Blanchard's book on the subject.

Short, accessible and practical ideas.

Joy on the journey...

Brian Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

First Discover --- Then Commit

Leadership ConneXtions International, in our training courses, seminars and workshops, make a pretty big deal about discovering core values that define who one is.

There is a wonderful "aha moment" that comes in these discoveries. Things with which we were vaguely aware, things that hovered around the edges of our awareness, once discovered, are very powerful and exciting. When we finally, clearly name, what we have intuitively felt... well, the act of naming is significant.

Sometimes, however, we don't put as much focus on "making a commitment" to pursue those values.

For most of us, our values are in part (or even mainly) aspirational. In some cases, they are present, but haphazardly and inconsistently. We need high intentionality that leads to commitments to pursue the values we believe in, to lay hold of them, to integrate them and to live out of them.

For the aspirational to become actual...
For the inconsistent to become frequent, then constant...
For the desired to become the "done"...

... we need a commitment to pursue what it is we are interested in. 

Great leadership comes about from great commitments.

Brian Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

What Motivations Sustain You For the Long Haul?

Don't you sometimes get tired? Worn out (at least a bit)? Sometimes finding yourself wondering - is this leadership thing worth it?

Today's post isn't so much a reflection as it is a question.

Year after year after year . . . leaders keep on leading. You keep on leading.

What sustains you?
What keeps you going?
How do you stay healthy in your interior world?
How do you resist cynicism, negativity, pessimism, skepticism?
How do you rise above burnout or "brownout"?

How do you keep from "just going through the motions"?
How do you maintain a leading edge?
How do you stay sharp and focused?
How do you keep growing and stay off those plateaus?

For me, the older I get and the longer I lead, I need a few things strongly in place.

I need a rich and generative way of spiritual formation that keeps me close to God, friends with God.

I need companions and friends who love me and whom I can love.

I need life long learning practices.

I need meaningful opportunities to do what I do best and the option to try new things as well.

How about you?
What keeps you going strong?

What is going to help you finish the way the Apostle finished?

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.   2 Timothy 4:7

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com 

Self-Awareness is the Foundation of Leadership

I don't even know exactly where I first grabbed hold of the idea of Self-Awareness as crucial for life and leadership.

It might have been a D.MIn. course I took on spiritual formation with John Ackerman (picture to the right) at Bethel Theological Seminary. Check out one of John's books here.

It might have been the follow up course I took with Gordon MacDonald, titled, The Private Life of the Public Person. 

It might have been the work of Daniel Goleman on Emotional Intelligence (although as I recollect, he was much more confirming than launching in this idea).

It might have been the Spiritual Exercises, 19th Annotation Retreat I did through the Spiritual Renewal Center of Syracuse with Jim Krisher and the team of directors.  (Picture to the left.)

It might have been the spiritual direction training and the spiritual direction I received at that same center.

On the other hand, it may have just been my personal experience of burnout and disillusionment and the discovery that I really didn't know myself very well.

The more I think about it, there have been a lot of streams flowing into my life. From waaaay back, I heard things like:

The unexamined life is not worth living. (Socrates)

True wisdom consists in . . . knowing one's self and in knowing God. (Calvin)

But, it remains a core theme and a central component of Leadership ConneXtions International as we do our graduate courses, workshops, seminars, conferences, mentoring, writing . . .
 

Here is another good word from Heroic Leadership on this theme:

"Only those who know their weaknesses can deal with them or even hope to conquer them... An introspective journey... builds the foundation for success. This journey involves... identifying personal, derailing baggage that prevents the realization of full potential, especially weaknesses that manifest themselves as habitual tendencies."

Self-awareness. It is very hard. It takes  a lot of time. But it is non-negotiable for leaders who went to lead well and finish strong.

What you need is the desire to do it and a method that helps you do it. But asking questions is a good place to start.

Brian Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

Continuous Personal Improvement

I am a huge fan of continuous personal improvement. It is the impetus behind all my mentoring. I want to become the very best I can be and I want to help others become the very best they can be. That means always pressing on through continuous personal improvement.

Don't "most of us" hope that our favorite athletes, musicians and other performers continue to improve? 

When Toyota began, they had their Five Founding Precepts. One of those precepts said, 

Be ahead of the times through 

endless creativity,

inquisitiveness and

pursuit of improvement.

The only way to stay "up with the times" much be ahead of them is through continuous improvement.

Yes, that idea was originally applied to companies, but I think it applies to people just as well.

Work today to be better by the end of the day.

Do the same tomorrow.

It is that simple . . . and it is that hard.

We are talking discipline, planning, focus, dedication, commitment, purposeful living, high intentionality, and wise strategy.

If you and I were having a conversation right now,and I asked you, "What is your personal plan for continuous improvement?" -- would you have one? Do you have a plan for learning and growth that you are actively implementing?

I am at least a bit obsessive on this issue.

For the life of me, I can't understand why someone would not want to grow to their full potential. I mean, is anyone really interested in a plan of stagnation and mediocrity. That would be an interesting mission statement.  

I am fully committed to a life of mediocrity 

and will do anything necessary to be that!

At times we may be lazy, or excessively busy, or unmotivated, or discouraged by failure or lack of resources or whatever . . . But those should be the exceptions.

The fruitfulness of your life and the abundance of your life are dependent on your continuous improvement.

If you want to learn how to develop a plan for personal growth, but don't know how, email me at lcibrice@gmail.com and I'll send you some materials.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Bottlenecks

Bottlenecks are a fact of life.

Bottlenecks are one of the big reasons why we don't make as much progress as we would like to.

A bottleneck is "anything" in life that narrows and constricts and restricts movement.

Many years ago we would go down to the Outer Banks for summer vacations. We had a great time. The drive back home was a different story. There was a bottleneck getting off the Outer Banks at the bridge. Everyone was trying to leave at the same time and traffic would back up for a long way.  Even worse was when we would get just south of Washington D.C. where the four lane highway (each way for a total of eight lanes) would shrink down to two lanes (each way) going across a bridge. Traffic backed up for miles. And one year, they were doing construction on the bridge and only one lane was open heading north . . . traffic backed up to Richmond (slight exaggeration). I was driving a "problem" car back by myself and I sat for long hours at that bottleneck.

Bottlenecks are everywhere. They slow us down. They hinder us in our forward movement. Sometimes we just come to a dead stop because of them.

We have bottlenecks in manufacturing processes, delivery systems, obtaining information, decision making processes, team dynamics, anything you can think of.

Here is a helpful exercise: 

• What are your bottlenecks? 
• Where do you slow down? 
• When do you find yourself stuck and waiting? 
• And what can you do about those bottlenecks?

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

The Benefits of Rest and Relaxation

It is pretty well acknowledged that we live in a sleep deprived culture and that we don't know how to rest very well. Perhaps we don't think we need it. Archibald Hart thinks we do. Here is his list of the benefits of good rest and frequent relaxation.

1.  It reduces the stress hormones including adrenaline and cortisol.

2.  It provides an enhanced production of the brain's painkillers.

3.  Rest leads to an increased production of the brain's "happy neurotransmitters."

4.  There is also an increased production of the brain's natural tranquilizers.

5.  R and R leads to an increase in the immune system activity and more capacity to fight disease.

6.  Lower blood pressure!

7.  Rest slows down the "hardening of the arteries" process.

8. Rest leads to lower cholesterol levels and reduced risk of heart disease.

9.  Rest promotes the warming of the skin's surface and body extremities (hands and feet) due to the relaxation of blood capillaries.

By the way, recreation is also a need for the human system, but recreation IS NOT the same as relaxation.  

How are you doing this week on the R and R thing?

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Inflated Sense of Self Importance (A National Pastime and an Occupational Hazard)

From time to time there is a news article or an interview on radio that talks about the inflated view Americans have of themselves.

For example, American students think they are much better at math than they actually are, while students from certain Asian countries think they are lower than they actually are.

It happens in the business world all the time. There are very few teams or organizations that think they are anything less than "above average" when the reality is that, AT BEST, they might be barely average.

This inflated sense of self competency has been called the

Lake Wobegon Effect. 

If you are familiar with Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion radio show, you probably love his stories about life in Lake Wobegon . . .

Where the woman are strong, 

the men are good-looking, 

and all the children are above average.

One of the problems with this inflated view of self is that those who have such a view of self tend to be poor (and unmotivated) in doing the hard work of self-examination that leads to authentic self-awareness, which then makes possible new growth initiatives. 

I am sure that most of us have been in conversations with someone or worked with someone who has this inflated sense of their ability and their importance. They think they know more than they actually do. They think they perform better than they actually do. You come away from those encounters wondering why the person is so clueless!

I wonder how many of us know that, at least from time to time, we are the ones, another person is walking away from, asking that very question?

(the strong, good-looking and above average) 

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Sleep Deprived Leaders (and Anyone Else to Whom This Applies)

How many hours of sleep do you need?

How many hours do you really sleep at night?

What is the difference?

And to you think it really matters how much sleep you are missing?

Most of us are sleep deprived and we rationalize it. Some of us even brag about how little sleep we need to get by.  The studies tell us that  the average adult needs 7-8 hours of sleep a day. Some get by with less, others need more. Many of us are getting by with less through mega doses of caffeine. 

Here are some Sleep Rules from Hart, Thrilled to Death, page 144. I have added some commentary and other ideas from a number of other sources. Plus this post has a lot of links to click on for more information.

1.  Always go to bed and wake up about the same time. Your body needs rhythms.

2.  Darken your environment about an hour before you go to bed. The dark releases melatonin into your system that helps you sleep.

3.  Avoid all stimulants such as caffeine after 3:00 p.m.  (WOW!!!). Caffeine interferes with sleep. We all know this, we just don't realize how long it might stay in our system as a little irritant working against good sleep.

4.  Don't use alcohol to help you sleep. It wears off quickly and you get a "rebound wakefulness."  If you want the scientific (but understandable) effect of alcohol on sleep read this short article.

5.  If your environment is noisy, wear ear plugs!  

6.  Exercise every day. Physical fatigue helps you sleep.  I have also heard some different perspectives on how late one should exercise. I think the conventional wisdom is that exercising too late in the evening may make sleep difficult. 

7.  Eat as little as possible 2-3 hours before going to sleep.  Check this site for some more specifics about diet and sleep.

8.  Try to go to bed early enough that you don't need an alarm clock to wake you up. It is better if you can wake up naturally. That is the sign that you've slept long enough.

9.  Naps are helpful but make sure you use them well. Power naps may help some people but not others.

10.  Be aware that lack of sleep can cause other serious health problems.  Here is a great article that talks about these health problems (of which there are many).  You will have to endure a 30 second advertisement for Dell before it opens up.

Look back over this list and do a little assessment. How are you doing on the sleep thing and what changes can you begin to make?

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Follow-Up Link for Ways to Have Fun

My friend, Gordon Carpenter, sent me this link to a BeliefNet page what has 50 ways to have fun. Gordon said he is NOT going to do #26. To which I say hey - why not?  I bet my friend Mike Johnson will pick that one as high on his list of fun things to do.

Anyway, here is the link for Are You Having Enough Fun?    If you have some favorites, let me know.

If you are definitely going to do #26, let me know that too.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

The Simple Pleasures

This idea from Archibald Hart really hit me. We live in such a high adrenaline world that we now need very high levels of stimulation to feel pleasure. And as in any addiction, we become desensitized and no longer feel pleasure. Thus, we rush headlong into either the frantic search for the next stimulation or we collapse into boredom.

What can we do about this? Hart suggests this:  SLOW DOWN. Slow down and rediscover the simple pleasures of life, the things of which we are mostly oblivious. It will be a choice that is not easy to make or sustain. Here is one idea. Pull out a piece of paper right now and write down ten simple pleasures you have enjoyed in the past or would like to enjoy. Then start doing them.

For example:

Pet your dog and cat. Give your pet a good rub down, scratching what itches for them... not only will they enjoy it, you will too. 

Get up early to watch the sunrise. Drive to a nice location to watch the sunrise. Make sure you watch a sunset. Just watch the clouds, as they light up at either dawn or dusk.

Watch a child play.

Walk barefoot in the grass...  especially now that in the springtime, the grass is becoming so lush and full.

Whatever your simple pleasures are - first find them and then enjoy them.

Here is another exercise you can explore. Slow down to notice and enjoy physical sensations. 

Notice what you food tastes like. It is amazing how quickly we eat and how little we savor.

Look carefully at something, anything. Look at the detail.

At different times of the day, just stop where you are and listen. What all do you hear? Try to identify as many sounds as you can. For my friends who are slowly losing their hearing, do this one while you still can.  :-)

Touch something and pay attention to the experience of touch.

There is a wonderful world of physical sensation just waiting for us. In most cases, it is absolutely free and can be enjoyed wherever you are. Do this every day.

Leaders need balance.

Leaders need sustainable rhythms.

Leaders need to have their souls satisfied with real enJOYable pleasures.

These little things can make a big difference.

If you want more ideas of simple pleasures, go to this link.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Hart's Happiness Boosters

Here are some Happiness Boosters taken right from Hart's book, Thrilled to Death (pages 55-56). Happiness boosters are the things you can do to boost your level of happiness. I mention them and then the commentary is mine.

(1)  Do something unselfish for another person every day. You can do it secretly if you want. The main point is to do something nice, unexpected, meaningful, helpful for others.

(2)  Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Forgive yourself when you do and move on. It is one thing to be unhappy with ourselves if we make a mistake. It is quite another to wallow in the unhappiness as we beat ourselves up for making the mistake. Good grief... when did you assume Messiah levels of perfection?! 

(3)   By the way, give others the same permission to make mistakes as well and help their happiness levels get a much needed boost. Give up expecting others to be perfect. You may need to adjust your expectations. One of the great sources of unhappiness is when we try to get others to live up to our expectations. It makes them miserable and does the same for us.

(4)  When someone offends you - forgive immediately.  Grudges are bad for personal unhappiness. Try to nurse a resentment or hold a grudge AND be happy at the same time. Not even the Grinch could do that.

(5)  Try to simplify your life. Do a major makeover to remove clutter from your life. My wife calls it deaccumulating. The more stuff you have to take care of and worry about and trip over and clean and take care of . . . the more stress and the less happiness we have.

(6)  Want to be happy?  Get more sleep and exercise every day.

(7)  Spend as much time as you can with people you like and enjoy being with.

(8)  Spend 15-20 minutes a day in reflection. Practice slow breathing and relaxation. I don't do this every day and I don't usually do it for that long. But when I do, I can almost feel tension falling off the shoulders.  See the bottom of this post for a special kind of meditation.  (This is especially for my super tech, computer wiz Mike B.)

(9)  Write down everything you worry about. Now, cross off of that list EVERYTHING OVER WHICH YOU HAVE NO CONTROL. It may take a bit, but you can come to the point where you are no longer as unhappy about the things you can't control.

(10)  Every night as you go to sleep, remind yourself of five things for which you are grateful.

(11)  Get a hobby. Do it, enjoy it . . . and even better, find a friend to enjoy the hobby together.

(12)  Laugh often. Read good humor, comics, cartoon, watch funny sitcoms, check out Hulu.com for old episodes of some of the great sitcoms . . . anything that tickles the funny bone in a good way - do it. By the way, if you have never seen this video of the Laughing Baby, watch it right now and enjoy. 

(13)  And perhaps most Important:  What else would you add to this list? What are some things you know that already work for boosting your happiness.

We have responsibility to attend to our own happiness. It requires a choice, it will mean some work, it will involve some recalibrating of your life. Have a conversation with a family member, a friend, or a colleague about this.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

More Thoughts on Cluttered, Fragmented, Stressed Lives

I just received this post in the form of an email note that went out to the LWCC staff from Pam M. who is one of the leaders of our administrative team.  Great words.  Thanks Pam.    -bkr-

****************************

A lot of people are on overload and headed for a crash. Consider these statistics among U.S.citizens:

• People now sleep 2 1/2 fewer hours each night compared to people from one hundred years ago.

• The average work week is longer now than it was in the 1960s.

• The average office worker has 36 hours of work piled up on his or her desk. It takes three hours a week just to sort through it and find what we need.

• We spend eight months of our lives opening junk mail, two years of our lives playing phone tag with people who are too busy to answer, and five years waiting for people who are trying to do too much and are late for meetings.

We're a piled-on, stretched-to-the limit society; chronically rushed, chronically late, chronically exhausted. Many of us feel like Job did when he said, "I have no peace! I have no quiet! I have no rest! And trouble keeps coming" (Job 3:26 GWT).

Overload comes when we have too much activity in our lives, too much change, too many choices, too much work, too much debt, too much media exposure.

Dr. Richard Swenson says, "The conditions of modern day living devour margin. If you're homeless we direct you to a shelter. If you're penniless we offer you food stamps. If you're breathless we connect you to oxygen. But if you're marginless we give you one more thing to do. Marginless is being thirty minutes late to the doctor's office because you were twenty minutes late getting out of the hairdresser because you were ten minutes late dropping the children off at school because the car ran out of gas two blocks from a gas station and you forgot your purse. That's marginless."

You need margin in your life. When you're not hurrying and worrying all the time, you have time to think. Time to relax. Time to enjoy life. Time to be still and know that God is God (Psalm 46:10).

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions Intl

Contradictions and Multitudes

Following up from yesterday . . .

Here is a description I came across a few weeks past. Maybe I read it a long time ago, but if I did, it didn't "stick." This time, it stuck.

Song of Myself

Walt Whitman

Do I contradict myself?

Very well then I contradict myself,

(I am large, I contain multitudes).

You may read that and think, "well that's bad, isn't it?" I don't think it is. I think it is just more of the messy, mysterious thing called life that seeks a creative tension and resolution.

Resolution does not mean elimination. It means coming to terms with, being at peace with, and enjoying the dynamic synergy of the "contradictions and multitudes within you."

James Martin describes Thomas Merton as a man with enormous inner contradictions. These contradictions created the tension that produced profound resolutions.

Thomas Merton:

Was a man in love with the world AND a man who chose to become a cloistered Trappist monk living in seclusion from the world.

Was a wandering, constantly traveled man AND someone who took a vow of stability in the remote hills of Kentucky.

Was a man who took a vow of obedience AND who was constantly in opposition to his superiors to whom he vowed obedience. 

Was a man in love with his vocation as a monk AND who never stopped questioning his call.

Was a devout Roman Catholic AND someone fascinated with the religions of the East.

Was a famous writer AND who (professed) to hate the trappings and business and busyness of being a famous writer.

Was a writer who would write of his desire never to publish again AND then write a few days later of the joy of having a book published.

Here is Martin's summary of Merton:   These paradoxes, these Whitmanesque multitudes helped make Thomas Merton one of the great figures of the 20th century.

Contradictions and Multitudes. We all have them. I have them. You have them. Usually we think they are bad, these contradictions, these tensions, these inner discrepancies, these multitudes. But perhaps . . . more likely . . . these multitudinous contradictions are the fertile ground for dynamic growth and creativity. Perhaps . . . most likely . . . they are part of the inmost being that defines who we are and what our journey will be.

As I think about some of my contradictions, I am aware that they are the places of creative tension. These are the things I wrestle with on a regular basis. These are the opportunities for me to experience what Collins calls the genius of the Both/And.  A few of my contradiction are as follows:

 

Reformed and Anabaptist  (transform culture and resist the culture)

 

Evangelical and Postmodern  (help!)

 

Ancient and Contemporary  (standing at the crossroads all the time)

 

Experiential and Intellectual (a wanna-be at least)

 

Critical assessment and Grateful acceptance   (never satisfied with how things are but thankful for what I have)

 

Pastoral and Prophetic (although I lean more toward the latter)

 

Love quiet solitude for reading and reflection and also need to be in the midst of the action

 

Self-aware and sadly self-deceived  (on any given day the balance shifts)

 

Motivated by compelling visions (BHAGs) and yet hang too closely to comfort zones

There are others, but this is a start.  To be a puzzle, inside a riddle, wrapped in an enigma . . . and to contain multitudes that contradict . . . is a wonderful thing, for surely, we are fearfully, wonderfully, just a little lower than the angels, made.  If you are so inclined, spend some time journaling and discovering your multitudes and contradictions.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Thoughts About Stress

This post is kind of a collection of thoughts about stress. Some of them are right from Hart's book, Thrilled to Death and others are from additional sources.

          (1)   We are more stressed out than ever before, due to the accelerating pace of life. Do you remember the prediction thirty years ago, that the revolution of technology would leave us with so much leisure time on our hand, that our biggest problem would be that of boredom with nothing to do. Far from that happening, the average person feels they have WAY TO MUCH TO DO, and it is not getting done, nor going away.

          (2)   We now experience a kind of super-tension because we live in a super-saturated, super-stimulated enviornment. We really have very little ability to recognize this because it is so pervasive and seen to be normal. But our bodies, our brains and our being itself, cannot handle this super-charged environment.

          (3)  Most of us have lost most of our recovery time.  It just isn't there. I was talking with a woman leader recently who lamented the fact that she simply does not have down time to recover, to rest and to recuperate. We move from one responsibility and obligation to the next. For leaders, the more successful you are, the more responsiblities and obligations are loaded on to your plate.

          (4)  Most of us have rationalized this way of being busy. Most of us have resigned ourselves to living with the stress levels we have. Some of us even wear our busy, hectic, frantic, crammed way of life as a badge of honor.

          (5)  We now experience "chronic," prolonged stress and this chronic stress damages our capacity for fulfillment and happiness.  That is the bad news. The way we are living, working and leading is negatively affecting our ability to be happy.

          (6)  Right now, it is more likely than not, that you are damaging your body due to stress. Cardiovascular disease, immune deficiencies, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibermyalgia, arthritis, and pre-mature menopause - are just some of the physiological problems that are caused or magnified by stress.

          (7)  And it is scary to know that stress actually messes up (interrupts, interferes, diminishes) the hormones that are necessary for proper brain functioning.

          (8)  Stress is never going away by itself. Busyness is never going to decline by itself. Sustained choices are necessary. You will either make the choice to slow down and lower your stress levels, or you will be forced to when something in your body breaks down.

         

(9)  There are endless resources on the internet that will help you learn more about stress.   Medicinenet.com has nice resources on stress.  

          (10)  And here is an article on managing stress.

          (11)   Here is a site that shows you what are the most stressful jobs and what are the least stressful jobs. See if your job makes one of the lists.

          (12)  I encourage you to have a good talk with someone about your own stress levels and how you are doing managing stress. 

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

 

Thrilled to Death

Stress...  Anxiety...  Adrenaline surges...  Addictions... the Diminishment of Happiness...   Sleep Disorders...  Boredom...  These are some of the issues Archibald Hart covers in his book, Thrilled to Death: How the Endless Pursuit of Pleasure is Leaving Us Numb.

Hart is the author of over 24 books, a clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary. I've read at least a half dozen of his books and have lots of "take-away" ideas that are immediately useful for my life and leadership. The same was true for this one. In the upcoming weeks, I'll have a number of posts that are launched out of some of Hart's ideas in Thrilled to Death.

If you deal with any of the issues I mentioned in the first line of this post, it will be worth your while to get a copy of Hart's book. Above all, I would say this is a very practical book. It has easy to use self-assessment tools. Every chapter has many practical suggestions to help you make changes on any of the issues. If you get the book, work through the chapters slowly and make sure you "apply" the necessary life changes.

The more driven, goal oriented, intense, Type-A, High-D kind of person/leader you are, the more useful this book will be. You won't like it, but you will definitely need it. It's better to use it proactively and make changes ahead of time. In a number of the posts to come, I'll give you a flavor of what is in his book.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Woe is Me . . . Wow is Me!

For by the grace of God given to me I say to every one of you: do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of truth God has given you.  (Romans 12:3)

For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him.  (Romans 12:3 in the Amplified Bible)

This is a great passage that I return to from time to time.

Self-awareness, self-assessment, self-esteem that is all the result of sober judgment. Not thinking too highly of yourself or too lowly about yourself.

In other words, we don't walk around saying,"WOE IS ME." Who am I? I'm a nobody. I have nothing to offer. I'm not as good as __________ (fill in the blank). I'm not as significant as __________ (fill in the blank).

But neither do we walk around thinking "WOW IS ME." I'm somebody. I'm special. I'm vital. I'm not replaceable. I'm better than __________ (fill in the blank). I have more to offer then __________ (fill in the blank).

Neither of these mindsets -- woe is me and wow is me -- are biblical.

They are not a sane or proper estimation of one's self.

They are not in accordance with God's truth.

I know it is hard work, but leaders have to do that hard work of self-awareness, self-estimation and do it in a biblical way that leads to healthy self-esteem.

So how is your self-image doing these days?

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

What Kind of Leader Would You Follow?

I came across this short, impressive, and inspiring description of Ignatius of Loyola. He was:

Intelligent

Available

Prayerful!

This post is not about Ignatius, nor even about these three qualities... although I am having to resist the urge to describe how Ignatius fleshed these things out in his life!

From time to time I have conversations with leaders where I just ask a simple question. What kind of a leader do you want to be? Most times when I ask this, I immediately realize that person has not thought about the issue, because they don't answer right away. They have to think and consider options and come to some conclusions on the spot.

If you want to do a little self-awareness work today, keep a piece of paer and pen handy and throughout the day start to make your list that describes the kind of leader you want to be. (Note: Or if you are a teacher - what kind of teacher you want to be, or what kind of nurse you want to be, or what kind of electician you want to be... You get the idea.)

If you come up with a few thoughts, send them in a comment.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International

Grow the Distance (Sunday message Resources)

Here are some resources that were used for the Sunday message today and some ideas for learning and growing. The theme is about personal development, becoming all you were meant to be.

Here is the "stethoscope" video that reminds us of what is inside us. It is 2 and 1/2 minutes. Watch it through to the end.

Here is the prayer/poem read on Sunday by Pastor Aaron Kunce. It comes from Guerillas of Grace by Ted Loder.

Download I Praise You For What Is Yet to Be. Download a copy of it. Use it as a prayer each day this upcoming week. If possible, say it aloud and hear the words. Buy this book and use it as part of your devotional resources.

Here is a video clip of the Take My Life song. You may want to watch/listen to it again. It is a song of consecration. Our life is not our own. We belong to Jesus by virtue of creation and redemption. This is our prayer response back to Him.

Here is a pdf file of the song.  Download Take My Life

Here are some quotes that inspire me about the learning/growing process. Download GrowthQuotes

Here is a link for a free online Learning Style Inventory. I have used this with quite a few people and it is helpful to get you started understanding how you learn.

Click here for some suggestions on using devotionals for your spiritual growth. 

Click here for a challenge To Spend One Hour a Day in intentional learning.

Finally, here is a PDF of lots of suggestions from about 25 friends who are devoted to growth and learning. Skim over it to see what they do for learning.    Download LifeLongLearningGrowing

We are made for so much more than we are right now. We already possess so much more than we see or realize. And Christ has given us this beautiful life to become all that He has downloaded into our lives.

So, this is a new week. May it be a week of learning, listening, discovering, growing, stretching, and becoming. If that happens, this will be a really great week for you.

Brian Rice

Leadership ConneXtions International